October One Liners 2

Headline: Dateline, Atlanta, Reuters - Lipsticks contain lead, consumer group says Thu Oct 11, 6:59 PM ET
One Liner: A kiss to die for!!
~ ~ ~ Thank you George Bush!

Headline: Dateline, New York, Reuters - IRS says rich getting richer: report Fri Oct 12, 2:48 AM ET
One Liner: And the poor get poorer - daa dit daa daa...
~ ~ ~ Thank you George Bush!

October is "One Liners" month - WTF

How about one liners inspired by internet headlines? Rarely read newspapers anymore so that's kind of a no brainer.





Headline: Dateline: Bagdad (10/09/07): Violence in Iraq kills 56


One Liner: Yes! Damn good thing are so much better in Iraq!


~ ~ ~Thank you George Bush!





Headline: Dateline: Bagdad (10/09/07): Guards fire on car in Iraq, kill 2 women


One Liner: Oh, not Blackwater; slow news day!


~ ~ ~Thnak you George Bush!





Headline: Sirnak, Turkey: (10/09/07): US warns Turkey to stay out of Iraq//


One Liner: You had your turn, butt out!


~ ~ ~Thank You George Bush!





Isn't there any news that's not Iraqified?


Headline: Dateline: Cambridge, US (10/05/07): Hamsters on Viagra take center stage at Ig Nobel awards


One Liner: Slow News Day for sure; where were the Yankees when you needed them?


~ ~ ~Thank you George Bush!

(stolen from http://www.petwebsite.com/hamsters/hamster_pet.htm )

Harvest Time

Attended the Fall Harvest Festival at the Historic Village in Allaire State Park last month. Many events featured workers in period dress. The week before was a Jazz and Wine Festival. It's a great place to visit almost any time of the year.

Took a few photos of course.

Cider Press:

Horse Team Rides:

Steam Powered Locomotive:

Wine Selection from New Jersey Vintners:

Summer's Over - Sigh...

I have a love-hate relationship with seasons. I would miss any one of them I'm sure. But damn they end too soon. There were so many things I wanted to do this summer that didn't get done. It's not as if I usually get things done but maybe I getting old and staring to worry that the number of "next years" are shrinking. Sigh...

We lost a few fish early this summer to a predator. At least that's the best guess. They were some of our most fecund females so we didn't have the schools of tiny goldfish this year.

Our first suspect, a stranger!

But certain facts have shed doubt on this suspect. She isn't in the clear yet but I have another, as yet, unseen suspect. A raccoon would be a more likely nighttime hunter and more likely frightened by the bamboo shishi-odoshi, "deer-scarer", that we installed. Nighttime disturbance of rocks and moss stopped after it was installed.

Beyond the Whales

The whales "lost" in the Sacramento River inspired this editorial piece on Sacbee.com yesterday. (I know it's a pain to register! I know it's a pain! OK? Just register. You can curse me while doing so - thanks, thanks, tanks, tanks, tnks, tks... [ok? - I'll be your best friend?])
http://www.sacbee.com/110/story/185809.html

Photo: Reuters - Wed May 16, 11:39 PM ET

Looming crises like this one are far too common now. The fate of Horseshoe crabs and dependent migrating shore birds is another.

From the Cape May County Herald last week.
http://www.capemaycountyherald.com/article/articles/3629/1/River-Dredging-May-Doom-Horseshoe-Crabs

Easter Problems - What?

A little known, much less understood, side-effect of Easter...

THE VICTIMS:

THE SAD TALE IN THEIR OWN WORDS...

AH, BUT THERE IS MORE...

not a red letter day - not a day to remember - rather, an embarrassment

An Open Letter to Al Gore
Al, you are a hypocrite

I believed in you, I voted for you, and I made excuses for you. I cringed but forgave you your “I invented the internet” gaff. It might have been a slip of the tongue. You were never glib.But, this goes to the heart of the matter. If you can’t walk the walk then shut up. Don’t try to bullshit me about your purchase of “carbon offsets”. I wasn’t born yesterday, I didn’t just get off the boat…you sir are no shining example of what you preach. You are not even a dull example of what you preach. You are a disgrace to the environmental movement. If you have any dignity, any belief in what you espouse, then crawl back into your hidey-hole and don’t come out until you have looked within and found that which you ask of others.

Hot Damn - I love to end the Day on a Positive Note!

The people and the wolves of Wyoming have a victory. Not every Western state governor will be allowed to reverse the wolf recovery program. For a change a sound science decision didn't end up side-tracked by politicians...

Instead... By BEN NEARY, Associated Press Writer : Feds reject Wyoming's wolf kill plan

Well we have Da Woid O’ De Dey; now the Oxymoron of the day!

“Partial Zero”?

The expression caught me by surprise - in the closing lines of a radio commercial - what the fuck did she just say? I couldn’t have heard that right, partial zero?
But that’s what I heard. Enter the PZEV, a Partial Zero Emissions Vehicle.

As one who likes clarity in communication and abhors obfuscation, so the environmentalist in me finds such “obfus-speak” insulting. And I didn’t jump to any conclusions. I was careful not to prejudge. The pragmatist in me could understand the logic of compromise to move forward on a important issue. But Partial Zero, was that a joke? Partial Zero Emissions Vehicle; at first I was moved to agree with the idea if not the term.

Quoting from Wikipedia:

This vehicle category was created as part of a bargain with the California
Air Resources Board (CARB), so that the automobile manufacturers could avoid producing mandated zero emission
vehicles (ZEVs), which would have required the production of electric vehicles, under the theory that a large number of low pollution vehicles would produce the equivalent pollution reduction of a lesser number of zero-emissions vehicles.

However, a little research convinced me that the compromise category was pretty much a sell out. I followed a link to A listing of PZEV compliant cars. At the top of the list is 3 liter 6 cylinder BMW! Or how about the Mercedes-Benz E-Class vehicles?
I can only conclude that someone in a powerful position in California took the boxing equivalent of a dive.
The official California DRIVECLEAN web site’s provided “vehicle web site link” was a dead end so I just searched for Mercedes-Benz.com and followed links to the E-Class Overview. Somehow a Partial Zero Emissions Vehicle seems to be the last thing they are selling.

Partial Zero my ass!

The Turista Attraction from Hell Maybe...

By PATRICK O’GILFOIL HEALY
Published: February 4, 2007

CLAD in black clothes and moonlight, our guide Poncho adjusted his ski mask and faced us to speak. The desert has claimed many lives, he said, but tonight we would make it across the border...

a make-believe trip illegally crossing the Rio Grande from Mexico into the United States

Cold February Day at the Beach

Ocean Grove, New Jersey, USA

Eric Clapton Live at Montreux 1986

A little music from the past. Montreux is in Switzerland on Lake Geneva.
The song which first came out in 1970 was inspired by Clapton's love for Patty Boyd who he later married. By 1986 they had already separated. The title, Layla, was inspired by the love story of Layla / Layla and Majnun.
There are many live versions of Clapton playing Layla and probably most of them are on YouTube.

Here it is: Layla

Hmmm...Lake Geneva...Geneva...Going Down Geneva (Van Morrison)...Later

Changing Tides

Here is an example of the photography that I aspire to achieve.

Changing Tides, originally uploaded by thepres6.

The greatest wealth consisteth in being charitable, and
the greatest happiness in having tranquility of mind. Experience is the most
beautiful adornment; and the best comrade is one that hath no desire.-
Tibetan Doctrine

Does it make your mouth water too?

Just look at some more of thepres6's photos.

Oofda!

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop. I know it's overused, trite, whatever...

"I'm in Charge Here" says the 21,500 troops are a done deal. And before I could say, "What now, Afghanistan?", it too looks like a "done surge" as well. How many shoes will there be?


P.S.
Noticed this blog by Jessica while trying to decide if "drop" or "fall" was the original term.
Then there is this column in eWeek by Deborah Gage.
And finally, one of my all time favorite political cartoonists has a book by that name . Did I mention Overused?

I hate it when this happens....but then it is historic

I hate it when this happens....but then it's the president's State of the Onion speech. You try to follow a link an then the next thing you find you have to register to read the friggin thing!
Now I can see the reason that the New York Times has the entire speech on their website. But lets get real here. Someone must have a lot of Time on their hands (Pun intended) to create a program that counts every word supposedly uttered in all seven of his historic spiels. For example he mentioned Iraq/Iraqi(s) 34 times in the 2007 speech but only twice in 2002. And Social Security fell from 18 times in 2005 to only twice last night. Would you believe that the phrase "homleand security" wasn't mentioned at all last night.
So if you already have a New York Times username/password or if you just have to see all the word stats...proceed at your own risk!
The Words That Were Used - The 2007 State of the Union Address

Only a Few More Days of Hunting Left This Year...

That's right. If you were hoping to win "a two night luxury break at the Gleneagles Hotel including breakfast and use of the sumptuous leisure facilities at The Club." you had better get "bloody cracking", "havering" or whatever they say in Scottland. 'Cause the season on Marag fabulosus is about to end.

The prey:





The History:

According to Ossian’s Encyclopaedia Eccentrica, the first historical document to mention the haggis is an account of the Roman invasion of Scotland written by Iocus. The noted scholar relates that as the Roman and Caledonian forces faced each other before the battle of Mons Graupius in 83AD a wandering Pictish holy man called Goileam saw a “small round creature revered by the tribes” dart from
the heather and run toward the invaders. Goileam turned to the Scottish army and, baring his breast, promised that this was an omen of victory and led a headlong charge against the forces of Agricola. Within an hour, Iocus tells us, more than 10,000 Caledonians lay dead, their army defeated, their land conquered. The Picts blamed the appearance of the small brown omen for the terrible defeat and sought to exact retribution on the creature that had so betrayed them. The haggis hunts began out of a desire for vengeance. It was then that the unfortunate creatures got their name – “haggii” comes from the Latin for “harried ones”. Before that fateful day, the haggii had been plentiful in Scotland. Like the Dodo, they did not fear man, while man basically left the odd looking animals alone. When the Picts unleashed their vengeful feud on the haggii, the small creatures were all but wiped out. But there was more to the events of that year than the persecution of an unfortunate beast by warriors feeling the pain of defeat. It was a time which saw one of the greatest culinary discoveries since fishermen first noticed that oyster shells could be opened.
The Scottish harvest of 83AD was particularly poor and the people were forced to find food anywhere they could. As they were hunting haggii anyway, the Picts started to eat them. To their great surprise, they discovered that haggises were delicious and named the animals’ main breeding area naidheachd bhreugach (place of plenty). Thus it was that the haggis became the staple food of Scotland. But so hunted were the haggii that it was nearly 100 years before they were seen in any great numbers again.

Try your luck!

P.S. ...One of these days, during the hunt, I'm going to stand in front of Haggis cam #10 in Times Square and flash the Haggis T-shirt that I won a few years ago.

I think Stephan Pastis has been in our kitchen!

Pearls Before Swine, one of my favorite daily cartoon strips, sometimes gets close to home. I think our kitchen refrigerator must have been the inspiration for the January 8th strip.

Da Woid 'O De Dey

The "woid" today on dictionary.com just cried out for a post.

Uxorious: adjective; Excessively fond of or submissive to a wife! (exclamation point - mine!)

Excessive: adjective; going beyond the usual, necessary, or proper limit or degree; characterized by excess

Who has a the yardstick to measure excessiveness? That's what I want to know.

And if it's a man does he dare to come home at night? Is he even married? I don't trust him - he carries too much baggage.

Well maybe a woman has defined the point where the slippery slope starts. I don't trust her either. Right? What's her agenda?

Now that I've dug myself a deep hole...what do I do next?

A Valentine to My Wife

Accept, dear girl, this little token,

And if between the lines you seek,

You'll find the love I've often spoken—

The love my dying lips shall speak.

Our little ones are making merry

O'er am'rous ditties rhymed in jest,

But in these words (though awkward—very)

The genuine article's expressed.

You are as fair and sweet and tender,

Dear brown-eyed little sweetheart mine,

As when, a callow youth and slender,

I asked to be your Valentine.

What though these years of ours be fleeting?

What though the years of youth be flown?

I'll mock old Tempus with repeating,

"I love my love and her alone!"

And when I fall before his reaping,

And when my stuttering speech is dumb,

Think not my love is dead or sleeping,

But that it waits for you to come.

So take, dear love, this little token,

And if there speaks in any line

The sentiment I'd fain have spoken,

Say, will you kiss your Valentine?

Well at least it's not T. S. Eliot's Proofrock!

Sunrise pictures this morning

Well Comet McNaught was nowhere to be seen. But these sights are probably better anyway.

The Boardwalk at Avon, New Jersey in pre-dawn light

Dawn comes to the Shark River Inlet in Avon. Good luck to everyone fishing: from the Boat, from the Jetty, or from the Wing.

The New Hiree

A Great Blue Heron came by our backyard fish pond several weeks ago and hung around for a few days. I first saw it one morning when I was getting ready for work and Best Wife saw it again two days later.



I'm sure the heron was intrigued by the twenty-odd fish on the menu. We have goldfish: Fan-tails and Comets in abundance though interspersed are a few Oranda genes. The O-gene is evidenced in a massive body size that eventually turns all white. The sources of the Oranda genes have passed on to that Great Carp Pond in the sky. The Orandas were a colossal mistake or rather a series of mistakes. First the two were sold to us as Ryukins. Ryukins might have been a good choice because they are hardy. Orandas on the other hand don't like cold water. Anything less than 60 degrees is out of the question. Our pond is at 40 degrees now as the weather in New Jersey has been mild this winter and has often been around 34 degrees and had 10 inches of ice a few years ago. Another reason the Orandas are a poor choice - in my humble opinion of course - is that many of them don't know how to swim. Sometimes called Flip-over condition, the poor fish becomes unable to maintain proper fishy position, i.e. anal fin lower than dorsal. The third mistake was allowing them to breed. But I digress.



The heron mentioned above was thwarted by the unlucky (or in our case, lucky) coincidence of arriving at the time of year when the pond is completely covered by netting to catch autumn leaves. Well the netting has to come off before winter or at least before the pond freezes over. So when a thin sheet of ice formed just before Thanksgiving, the netting reluctantly had to be put away.



What to do? What to do! When the raccoon began visiting the pond last summer to dig for earthworms in the bog around the pond, it was relatively easy to relocate the thief to a local park. But how to heron-proof the area was a real riddle. And, Best Wife said she would never forgive me, or the heron for that matter, if little Red-Cap ended up as heron sushi.



Enter the New Hiree. He has agreed to guard duty at the pond. Not just guard duty but Guard Duty! A relentless, unceasing, unrelenting, unyielding, and unstoppable sentinel.



Drum Roll!

And Now, Introducing...

Sméagol!

New Years Resolutions

Resolution #1 - I will post more than once in three moths.
Fine Print: Unless catastrophic events lead me astray. Catastrophic events are defined here (but not limited to) as - War; Terrorist Attacks; Pestilence; Procrastination; Mondays; Work; Best Wife's Honey Do List; etc.

Resolution #2 - A work in progress...