Lord, just let me get back alive.

"I've really tried to focus on getting things done. It's not working. I'm just too distracted."

"For months Tita was being neglected and lost a lot of weight. I've increased the protein in her diet and have seven meals a day scheduled -- so she has gained a little of it back -- but only because she constantly reminds me to feed her another meal. And I forget her medication even though I put up sticky notes. Good thing we're not in California. I'd be arrested for sure."

"Thought I should round up some of the "stuff" from your super-fund site before the hazmat suits arrive.  But before I got upstairs I remembered a few Christmas decorations and put them away. Of course I forgot why I was going upstairs."

"I'm working on a never-ending project to get the dozens of photos off the posters and into something resembling an organization. No organization so far but I get to spend hours looking at the photos. There are so many of you that I've never seen before."

"There's one of you and Cindy standing in front of a Christmas tree. You're both in, what could be, red prison uniforms and look like you just woke up."




"You and Elaine are in another one.
It might have been taken in the spring. You have your signature red hair in that photo."

"I missed a lot in those years."


"There is one photo I took of you when we were on a canoe trip in the Boundary Waters of northern Minnesota. We set up camp on at little island on Cummings Lake. It's July, 1981 and you're wearing a sweater. Did we have cool weather that day or were you just keeping the mosquitoes at bay?"

"You have a big smile and I think you were getting ready to put that oar to work."

"Our destination was Buck Lake and a mess-of-fish."

"Little did we know that the recent drought, plus a change in the weather, had a big surprise for us. Our map had a quarter mile portage but the low water made it closer to three miles. The water was calm when we started out but on the way back we were bucking a head wind. The white caps on the water were soon joined by a thick fog. But with a good compass, a great guide - yours truly, and a lot of luck we made it back safely. I remember you kissed the ground and crawled on hands and knees back to the tent."

"When I asked if would might like to have some fried fish before we turned in for the night, you just groaned."

"There's some distractions I wouldn't want to miss. Over and over again"

"By the way, I was trying to get some mail from your MacBook the other day. Phooey, when are you going to get a real computer?"

          "When are you going to get a hair cut?"

"What? Just one hair?"

          "Wouldn't want to over-tax your math skills."

"Touche."

The New Hiree

A Great Blue Heron came by our backyard fish pond several weeks ago and hung around for a few days. I first saw it one morning when I was getting ready for work and Best Wife saw it again two days later.



I'm sure the heron was intrigued by the twenty-odd fish on the menu. We have goldfish: Fan-tails and Comets in abundance though interspersed are a few Oranda genes. The O-gene is evidenced in a massive body size that eventually turns all white. The sources of the Oranda genes have passed on to that Great Carp Pond in the sky. The Orandas were a colossal mistake or rather a series of mistakes. First the two were sold to us as Ryukins. Ryukins might have been a good choice because they are hardy. Orandas on the other hand don't like cold water. Anything less than 60 degrees is out of the question. Our pond is at 40 degrees now as the weather in New Jersey has been mild this winter and has often been around 34 degrees and had 10 inches of ice a few years ago. Another reason the Orandas are a poor choice - in my humble opinion of course - is that many of them don't know how to swim. Sometimes called Flip-over condition, the poor fish becomes unable to maintain proper fishy position, i.e. anal fin lower than dorsal. The third mistake was allowing them to breed. But I digress.



The heron mentioned above was thwarted by the unlucky (or in our case, lucky) coincidence of arriving at the time of year when the pond is completely covered by netting to catch autumn leaves. Well the netting has to come off before winter or at least before the pond freezes over. So when a thin sheet of ice formed just before Thanksgiving, the netting reluctantly had to be put away.



What to do? What to do! When the raccoon began visiting the pond last summer to dig for earthworms in the bog around the pond, it was relatively easy to relocate the thief to a local park. But how to heron-proof the area was a real riddle. And, Best Wife said she would never forgive me, or the heron for that matter, if little Red-Cap ended up as heron sushi.



Enter the New Hiree. He has agreed to guard duty at the pond. Not just guard duty but Guard Duty! A relentless, unceasing, unrelenting, unyielding, and unstoppable sentinel.



Drum Roll!

And Now, Introducing...

Sméagol!