Friday, January 30, 2015

Please Don't Go


"Richie stopped by the other day to give his condolences."
"He's not coping well with the death of his girlfriend."

"There was a moment like looking at my reflection in a mirror."
"Disconnected, unhinged, afloat, lost...oh Susie, what would I do without these conversations with you?"

"I've recovered fairly well from Wednesday's procedure. I was remembering that this was the one I was most worried about."
"For months I worried I couldn't be your caregiver for a few days. Worried too, you wouldn't let anyone else help."

"What a damn fool I was. You were so willing to sacrifice comfort, dignity, anything so you wouldn't be a burden on me."

"A burden? I was shocked. What the hell did I miss?"

"So many voices droned on and on how great I was; how well I took care of you."

"Who in hell were they talking about? Not me. Not me."

"Worse than inadequate - undeserving. I was so damn selfish I needed you to stay. I needed to make up for all those years that I couldn't give what you needed."

"And what I wanted. Wanted and needed."

"Then out-of-the-blue. We had a storybook fresh start. Didn't we."

"It was so wonderful. I had to pinch myself to know it wasn't a mirage. I couldn't contain how lucky I was."

"And now you thought you might be a burden?" "How could I have underestimated your love for me?"

"Still, I only thought of me. Let you go? No way! I needed you more, more I guess, than I could fathom."
"I don't even know how many times you tried to talk to me about leaving. I wasn't listening."

"You remember. Years ago I let you go, once or twice. I never understood."

"The worst, darkest thing I would do."

"When you wanted to come back. I've regretted it, over and over again. I said no. I said no when you pleaded with me. When you needed me the most I turned my back."

"I am so sorry Susie. Forgive me."
"I can't forgive myself."

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